I don’t have a lot to say right now, I’m currently recovering from illness. I do not look good. I have not been wearing makeup, shaving my legs, or styling my hair. I have a lot of bruises on my body because my body is weak, and a horrible rash from sleeping too much. I’m not bothering to cover either. I’m tired, I’m sick, and right now I greatly prioritize my comfort over the comfort of those who come to see me.
When I get better, I will most likely go back to my typical beauty routine. I’ll shape my messy eyebrows, apply some foundation, and wear a cardigan if my rash hasn’t fully faded. But, I don’t have to. And neither do you.
- You have the right to be ugly.
- You have the right to be unhealthy.
- You have the right to prioritize other things over beauty and/or health.
You know your physical limits better than anyone else. People can criticize your decisions, but they can’t speak for you unless you let them. You have the right to be the person you want to be, now. If you want to be healthy or beautiful, work towards it. If you don’t care, then focus on whatever priorities you do have. If you are confident in yourself, that confidence will spread to other areas of your life. It isn’t your responsibility to make other people happy, unless you want it to be.
Much Love,
Rosie
Get better soon, Dear! :( I hope everything will be all right with you.
Such a moving post, so sad yet so strong…
(And maybe try Aloe Vera gel on your arms, it can do wonders even with my really-really sensitive skin.)
Hello! Thank you for your advice about the aloe vera!! It works so well on my skin. My rash is nearly gone. I really appreciate it ! :3
As much as I get what you’re trying to say and your positive advice, I would argue to say you should focus your mindset on the right to be healthy. True, no one should be made to feel bad if they are unhealthy or blamed for their illness, but to grant others the permission to remain unhealthy if they so wish is very damaging and unsupportive in a way I’m sure you didn’t intend.
You’re right, I don’t intend to encourage all of my readers to just give up, which I’m sure I mentioned above. My point is more that it isn’t your or my business to police another persons choices when it comes to how they look or feel. Being healthy simply may not be possible for some people, and no one knows the facts of the situation better than that person does. It could be because of hereditary issues, or it could be because of their priorities in life, but in the end, it isn’t really my business.
I do wish the best of health to all my readers, but they are more educated on their lives than I. And I’m not saying to anyone that they should just give up on health, beauty, or any of the rest of these socially approved goals. But when someone simply doesn’t have the energy to exercise because they’re caring for their children on top of working two jobs, or they don’t have the money to cook healthy meals because they just got laid off and it is cheaper/faster to eat processed food while looking for a new job, or if they just can’t manage to care about any of that because they’re depressed, and just getting out of the house with friends is hard enough, well, I’m just saying outsiders don’t have the whole story. And we shouldn’t feel responsible for comforting a stranger, and explaining ourselves to them. Conversations shouldn’t start out “I’m fat BUT I do exercise and eat healthy” or “I’m not feeling well BUT it is because of my genetics” or “I’m depressed BUT it is because I just lost my job.” Sometimes it is okay to just say “I’m fat, I’m ill, I’m depressed” and sit with that information, before moving on. And when someone says these things, we shouldn’t berate them, just nod knowingly and say “please let me know if there is anything I can do.”
Basically, it isn’t your place or mine to “grant permission.” You can think “that isn’t how I want to live my life” and that is great. But by judging others before understanding them we don’t help. People will live their lives the best they can. People shouldn’t have to be ashamed of their problems. Shaming doesn’t help, it just makes them hide their pains.
I hope that clarifies things a bit :)
Oh hi Rosie!
I am so sad to hear you are going through such a negative phase. I am too. You can’t even imagine how good I understand the things you meant in your post. Since I am feeling very bad too, ( In my case not only phisically but I am also going through a very tough depression right now) I wanted to share a few things I do to help myself feel better!
First, I have set a goal to go out of the house at least once a day. At least sit in the front yard! That way I can breathe some fresh air, feel the sun on my skin and entertain myself watching what people and the birds are doing outside. I also drink a lot of natural juices. My favorite is Mango with milk! Do you have mangos over thre in the US? Slice one mango after peeling it, pour in some milk, add some shugar and icecubes and mix! So yummy and it’s a real vitamin and energy kick! I also write a lot when I feel sad or sick. That way I can get rid of what’s in my mind and heart, and I turn my mostly negative feelings into some really nice poetry! Another thing I like to do is to try and keep contact with my friends. This is really hard for me, because of my breakup with my BF I lost a lot of friends (since he is no longer with me, they don’t want to meet me anymore. This was really sad for me to accept) and now I seem to be the only single person in the world xD Most of my friends hang out with their partners, so I stand alone most of the time. But still, I try to send messages, call or keep in touch via FB. Like that, I am not so alone all the time.
Ok, I know this is way too long, but I really wanted to try and help you out somehow. I know what you are going through and I wanted to let you know I’ll be sending you lots of energy from Peru. Best wishes and lots of love,
Marie